Productivity
/Being productive is so much more than the myth we’ve been led to believe. Reflections on life transitions, role change, and the vulnerability of embracing being "unproductive".
It’s been exactly one year since I left my job as a Physical Therapist in San Francisco. I was riding high. I had founded a women’s pelvic health service, and as my caseload swelled, I felt increasingly rewarded by my daily interactions with my patients and with my colleagues. I felt like I was creating my dream job and my professional life was blooming. I felt like I found a way to connect the delicate dance of living my dharma with the demands of modern society.
It’s been one year since I my job. I know I’m so lucky that I am privileged enough to make choices based beyond basic survival needs. I am grateful to move across oceans in the name of love. I feel so incredibly lucky to be in the thick of this particular “installment of retirement” (I refer to this Molly Trerotola quote often these days). However, the truth is that not working in my usual capacity also makes me feel vulnerable at times. It makes me wonder what my purpose is and how to live it daily. I notice myself missing that sense of reward in collaborating with others. My mind misses the cognitive challenge and my heart misses the spiritual act of listening, offering, and supporting folks as their quality of life changes through our work together. Similar gifts come through my yoga practice and teaching these days, and I am really enjoying stepping into the seat of teacher in this capacity. Yet I still notice myself becoming itchy to feel “productive”, whatever that means. Can you relate?
Now that I sent off the first part of my application to get licensed, it is starting to sink in that this installment of retirement will end sooner than later, maybe even in 2020. I’ll be reckoning with transitioning back into the workforce soon enough, I remind myself. It’s okay squeeze a bit more enjoyment out of this special season of life. Being productive is so much more than the myth we’ve been lead to believe.
In honor of that, here are a few scenes from this weekend’s very nourishingly “unproductive” moments.
Yoga in Der Aa-Kerk with the bonus of moving with and meeting some inspiring humans in the community.
After rushing to a meeting, I realized I was a whole week early. I found the coziest spot and settled in to my date with myself, enjoying vegan hot cocoa topped with roses while overlooking the park. I even got to read a magazine (in Dutch) just for funsies.
“Als je loslaat heb je twee handen vrij” can be translated to, “If you let go, then you have two free hands”. Simple yet profound little piece of art. A nice reminder to let go, unless of course you’re sipping warm cocoa on a cold day, in which case hold on with two hands AND smell the roses!
Do you struggle with the themes of role change or the cultural myth of productivity during life transitions? I can’t help but want to relate these experiences of transition to the new parents I’ve spent so much time hearing from in my practice. What is it like for you to shift from badass boss to stay at home parent or from badass parent to return to work boss? What is it like to to shift into retirement, at any age? Tell me, what vulnerabilities come up for you as your roles change or as you enter major transitions? What vulnerabilities come up when you embrace the necessarily unproductive ways of life that keep you in balance?
