Becoming a birth doula, affirming my purpose
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Witnessing birth for the first time was truly a magical experience for me. The birth of a parent, the blossoming of a partnership, and the entry of a sparkling new baby taking its’ first breaths in a new home outside of the womb is something like no other. This memory, as well as witnessing all the families that trusted me to guide and support them through their births will always have a special place in my heart. Furthermore, these experiences powered up my purpose and will forever have an impact on me, both personally and professionally.
At first, I set out to become a birth doula because I was curious. Somehow the only narrative I heard about birth was that labor is tough, and whatever else mainstream movies depict. As a human, I craved more information about what becoming a parent really entails. As a physical therapist with obstetrics training, I began to see more pregnant and postpartum patients. I felt as though I could not best educate or fully empathize with their experience without better understanding the full spectrum of childbirth. I needed the experiential learning immersion of seeing it all in order to best guide my patients clinically. What I expected was to deepen my understanding of things like the evidence-based strategies to optimize comfort in pregnancy, the biomechanics to facilitate maternal-fetal positioning during labor and decrease risk of tearing during delivery, and tools to help improve early postpartum healing. What I got was that and so much more.
“The role of a labor support companion requires the capacity to zoom in to the evolving needs of the individuals present while simultaneously being able to zoom out enough to maintain the sacred space and intentions of the birthing family. To do so well meant to learn to be to be grounded and steadfast in my presence. ”
Beyond learning the science of good peripartum care, learning the art of centering the needs of a birthing person expanded me as a whole. The role of a labor support companion requires the capacity to zoom in to the evolving needs of the individuals present while simultaneously being able to zoom out enough to maintain the sacred space and intentions of the birthing family. To do so well meant to learn to be to be grounded and steadfast in my presence. Holding space for the entire family requires a careful dance between facilitation of their bond through conscious connection practices and providing space for their connection to take center stage. The art of verbal and especially nonverbal communication had never felt so profound as in the exchanges that took place in the labor room. Debriefing the experience with the families a few weeks later during a postpartum visit, the narrative from the birthing couples blew me away. They absolutely confirmed the sense of power, of connection, of love that they felt throughout the process. And while not every birth story is so positive, I believe that bringing these lessons to every birth helps make the process more empowered, no matter the outcome. Through these experiences, my notions of how to be a caring ally during the transformation that takes place from the early ideas of conception to the beginning of parenthood truly transformed me.
“Purpose is what you learn in this journey with an attempt to achieve your goals…. This unexpected learning that happens on the way to achieving goals is called purpose.”
In a podcast I recently listened to, Dr. Rama Prasad says, “Purpose is what you learn in this journey with an attempt to achieve your goals…. This unexpected learning that happens on the way to achieving goals is called purpose.1” I realized through the opportunity to support birthing families as a labor support companion that my purpose felt clear for the first time. My original goal of immersing myself in the experience of childbirth in order to best guide my patients in the clinic led me to meet people and come across events and situations that taught me lessons in wisdom. The wisdom to be present enough to anticipate the need of others while centering their evolving experience continues to shape my clinical practice and personal relationships to this day. For this and the individuals who have trusted in me to be present for such a life event, I will be forever grateful.
References:
1. Prasad, R and O'Brien, L. The Radical Ayurveda Podcast. Trust and Understanding in Relationships #076. 2020. Available at: https://soundcloud.com/radicalayurvedapodcast/trust. Accessed 16 oktober, 2020.
